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ADIALA: As politicians from all walks of life and tried-and-tested parties flock to assemble under PTI’s banner, famous Jedi Dark Knight of the Beirdo Weirdos, Al Mashoor Mumtaz Qadri Bin Dustbin, has announced that he too will join PTI and lead a revolution behind bars. He said that he supported PTI’s view of safeguarding the blasphemous laws of Pakistan, which were “divine laws used to maintain peace among people.”

At a Namoos-e-Risalat rally held in Lahore, a truck in the middle of the road was decorated on all four sides with massive posters of Mumtaz Qadri. He was shown on a golden throne with a fat garland of roses around his neck. Above him it said: “Hum apni jaanon ko bhi waarein ge, Saath aulaadon ko bhi waarein ge, Hamare jo aayein ge pehchaan mein, Vo dushman saarey maarein ge (InshaAllah)”. [We will surrender our lives, And our children too, And all the enemies we identify, We’ll kill them too (God-willing). Imran Khan’s deputy from the Tehreek-e-Insaaf, on behalf of Imran Khan (“Imran Khan ki taraf se…”) said that the PTI would not tolerate any amendment to the blasphemy laws. (This is the opposite of what King Khan told his adoring British followers in The Guardian of London just a few weeks ago.) Quickly he moves from that to the Raymond Davis incident, saying that Muslims must also consider (in addition to theological issues) the very real dangers faced by poor people in Muslim societies today. This becomes a pattern: every speaker started with the blasphemy law, but ended with the American man’s killing of three people in Lahore.

Imran Khan announced that “Even England has the blasphemy law and there is a sound reason for this… Allama Iqbal proposed a bill in the 1920′s Punjab legislative assemblies, which provides punishment for anything being said against any religious personality.”

The PTI welcomed Mumtaz Qadri’s inclusion and said “we hope his inclusion will also bring in the floral wreath shagging lawyers and educated people who cheered him as the true saviour of our religion.” PR